


Hold Square

by Xiaojian



Category: Far Cry 4
Genre: Gen, Humor, don't take this seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 09:45:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4914742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xiaojian/pseuds/Xiaojian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before Ajay Ghale can save Kyrat, he must first face his most deadly enemy: The controls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Square

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a request from farcry4-kinkmeme on dreamwidth. Based on my personal (mis)adventures upon playing the game for the first time. If you think Ajay's dialogue is OOC, that's because it is - that's the player speaking. ;)

The trouble started in Banapur.

The Golden Path members did their best to give the son of Mohan Ghale a warm welcome, making pleasant small talk or giving him useful information about the area. At least, they tried to, until he started climbing on the roofs.

“What are you doing?”

The woman he was talking with had been halfway through a crucial tutorial about wildlife, when Ajay just up and hoisted himself onto the eaves of the ramshackle house over her head. Once he had gained his footing, he waved at her to continue.

“Well, as I was saying, the honey badgers are notoriously – hey, watch it!”

He landed with a crash on the porch, narrowly missing her. Hesitantly, she leaned down to check if he was alright. She almost missed the sound of Ajay muttering something to himself.

“Okay, so sprinting off buildings is a bad idea…”

-

“I have nothing but confidence in him. There’s no way the son of Mohan can be anything less than a hero.”

Amita elbowed Sabal in the ribs.

“If you don’t shut up, the _son of Mohan_ is going to hear us any second.”

The two were crouching behind a bush, staked out at a perfect vantage point to see Ajay take on his first assigned mission in Kyrat. So far, all they had learned was that Sabal’s so-called hero screamed like a girl while being chased by wolves. Eventually, however, he managed to collect himself and put the wolves down with his bow. When he emerged from exploring the small cave, Sabal leaned in, eager to see what he’d accomplish now that he’d collected the explosive arrows.

Ajay looked intensely at the frail wooden pillar that held up the cave, connecting the dots in his head.

Amita leaned forward.

Ajay’s face lit up, an idea hitting him like a sack of animal pelts.

Sabal nearly shook with anticipation.

Ajay put away his bow and kicked the pillar until it collapsed, bringing the cave down on his head and killing him.

Amita and Sabal stared slack-jawed as Ajay’s voice floated from the ruins.

“Okay, let’s try that again.”

-

Ajay looked intensely at the frail wooden pillar that held up the cave, before scrutinizing the entrance.

Amita craned her neck forward.

Ajay smiled, an idea hitting him like a honey badger to the face.

Sabal bit his lip with anticipation.

Ajay crawled to the entrance of the cave and shot the pillar with an explosive arrow. Unfortunately, he was too close to the entrance, and the falling debris killed him.

Amita and Sabal stared slack-jawed as Ajay’s voice echoed across the lake.

“Oh, _come on_.”

-

“Ajay? Ajay, come in, boy! Don’t you want to talk to your favorite uncle?”

“Nope,” Ajay replied through gritted teeth, doing his best to ignore Pagan’s voice crackling through the radio. After all, driving a quad bike was no easy task. Especially not in a mountainous environment where half of the roads skirted along 85-degree drops of certain doom. 

Pagan laughed.

“Come now, that’s no way to speak to family. I won’t lecture your ear off about it, though. Tell me, have you been eating well out there? I have a whole plate of crab Rangoon with your name on it here if you’re ever in the mood for a good meal.”

“Look, I already told you, I don’tOHGODHOLYSHITGODDAMNIT"

Pagan stared, bewildered, at the noises coming from the radio in his hand. Paul weighed in from behind him.

“I think he fell off a cliff.”

-

“Help! Someone, please help!”

The villager looked frantically around the forest, searching desperately for someone who could save her from the honey badger approaching at a menacing pace. Just as she was about to give up hope and start praying to Kyra, a beat-up old car came to a stop at the edge of the forest with a squeal of breaks.

Ajay hopped out of the driver’s seat and hefted a Molotov cocktail. He grinned at the distressed damsel.

“Don’t worry ma’am, I got this.”

He lobbed the Molotov at the honey badger. It missed by a good two feet, and instantly set the forest ablaze.

The villager screamed as flames surrounded her. The honey badger stalked towards Ajay, completely unscathed. Ajay stepped back in the car and drove away.

“Oops.”

-

“Ajay, we need to talk.”

Ajay looked up from the trading locker, loading an unreasonable amount of ammo into his unreasonable amount of weapons. Sabal sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“My soldiers told me there’s been an unreasonably high rate of you…well, throwing knives at them.”

He expected Ajay to deny it, or get angry. If the reports were true, he had a traitor on his hands. If Ajay’s mission was to sabotage the Golden Path from within, surely he’d react on the defensive.

Instead, Ajay laid a hand on his shoulder and looked him directly in the eye, saying with a grave expression, “If you had to listen to their repeating dialogue, you’d have done Pagan’s job a long time ago.”

-

“Ajay.

Ajay, stop.

Ajay, you can’t do that.

Ajay, seriously, it’s not going to work. Cut it out.”

Ajay glared at his radio and continued to try and scale the mountain through the sheer force of jumping. Sure, if he went all the way to the other side he could use the grappling ropes, but where was the fun in that? Besides, he’d gotten halfway up the slope already. As he jumped spastically to the top, he suddenly found himself falling through the ground into an infinite blue void.

Amita covered her face with her hands as Ajay’s screams echoed through the radio. A passing soldier stared at the source of the sound.

“Did he glitch through the environment again?”

Amita nodded.

-

Rapidly, it became clear that Ajay Ghale was not the hero Kyrat needed, nor the one it deserved. Eyewitness reports of his incompetence were whispered across the mountains, making their way across the Golden Path camps and settlements.

“I swear, he blew up three gyrocopters trying to land them on the side of a bell tower. A minute after the third, we heard a series of explosions. We prepared to run, but then everything was quiet, until we heard him shouting ‘you can just _set fire_ to the propaganda posters?!’”

“He broke into my house and started shooting at my bookcase. While my children ran for cover, I demanded to know what he thought he was doing. ‘Demon masks’ was the only answer I got.”

“He sat on a boat in the middle of the lake for two days, doing nothing but shooting arrows into the water. We were worried, so we sent someone to ask if he needed assistance. Apparently, all he did was whisper something about ‘fucking demon fish.’”

Sabal and Amita reluctantly met to discuss the best solution to what they dubbed “the Ajay situation.” After some debate, they decided to stage an intervention. They met Ajay at Banapur and sat him down, laying out the problems with his behavior. Ajay was remarkably patient, sitting still and quiet throughout their talk.

“…and that’s why I thought we should get your side of the matter. So tell us, Ajay. What is going on with you?”

No response. Amita frowned.

“Ajay?”

Sabal waved a hand in front of Ajay’s face. He sat stock-still, his eyes never moving. Amita poked him, but he gave no indication he’d felt it. After several minutes of attempting to get his attention, the two Golden Path leaders gave up and stormed out of the room.

Five minutes later, Ajay became animated again.

“Oh thank god, the cutscene’s over.”


End file.
